🍩 Soul Snacks

Dear Snacker,

Being that my husband is not available much during the week, I am no stranger to taking care of things on my own at home, but this was the first time I have been away totally solo and, aside from a few “what if” moments of anxiety about being alone, I thrived. Here’s why I felt so at ease this week: if I think about my mental load in the form of a pie chart, my kids’ needs take up one piece of the pie (or maybe like half of the fucking pie, actually), and my husband, another. Generally speaking, even though there are three of them, the things I think about when it comes to the kids and my responsibilities pertaining to them, is pretty much the same type of shit…my husband’s needs, on the other hand, are very different. Though he’s a pretty low maintenance guy, I show up for him in a way that is different from the way I do for the kids, and because kids’ needs are so demanding and constant, showing up for anyone else can be really hard – it is just the reality of caring for young kids. Not worrying about showing up for anyone beyond my kids this week, was a vacation from my usual mental workload, and I could FEEL it. There were other things that made it easier, too, like not being at home to worry about chores, or vegetable consumption, or schedules. I barely cooked, I drank wine on the couch in the evenings, and I watched the Twilight Saga with my big kids….and, yes, it was a little scary and steamy for them at times….on Bella and Edward’s wedding night they were like, “Oh my GOD, Mom, they are making out SO HARD!” Indeed, guys, indeed they are.

Let me say how much I love my husband. I am so grateful to have him as my partner, and even though it is more work to factor in his needs, I am happier when he is around. It’s a funny thing: after breakfast on a weekend for example, when we are both home, we typically relax and chat over coffee until, eventually, one of us makes a move to get the day started – during those mornings you’re sensitive to where the other person is at – who cleaned up from dinner the night before, and who will likely clean up breakfast based on that, and what each of us want to get accomplished that day, and so on and so forth…there’s nothing negative embedded there, it is just EXTRA thinking on top of an already strained load. There is such peace in less thinking.

I will remember this week with fondness. I was pumped to reunite with my husband, his hugs, and adult conversation, and I know my body is ready for me to stop eating crap and drinking wine every night, but my burnt-out, overloaded mind enjoyed this little hiatus so much…and I would give a pinky toe for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson to reunite for a Twilight 6.

— Caitlin

• THE PLAYLIST IS BACK!!! Happy groovin’ to Remixes That Slap.

• MAKE -  I’ve had a shitty year with bananas. I’ve bought some that are yellow, but like, rock hard and just never, ever softened. I’ve fallen victim to internet advice on how to ripen your bananas right away, which included BAKING them in the oven: spoiler alert, it doesn’t fucking work….here is something I might actually do with my old bananas because the recipe looks pretty easy…and despite it all, I still love bananas. Recipe by Michelle Piccolo, a NJ-based mom of two boys (Jack 6 and Lucas 2.5) and founder of Feeding our Toddlers.

• INTIMACY - I saw Morgan talking on IG one day about how the mental load of motherhood can affect our libidos and I asked her to contribute a piece relating to that notion for Soul Snacks. I love how incredibly relatable and realistic her advice is. Check her out.

• DRINK - I mentioned these last week (and will continue to because they really are excellent). Code BTA20 gets you 20% off.