🍐 Soul Snacks

2 min read

Dear Snacker,

I had a very bad dream the other night. I dreamed that my oldest son died from cancer, but it was not back when he had cancer, it was current day. He had gotten a new cancer, and it killed him very quickly. It felt so real – I woke up despondent. I found Calum and hugged him really tightly and, even though I knew it was just a dream, I could feel the pain of it in my chest for a long while that morning. I didn’t tell anyone about it at first, but I eventually told my husband later that morning, and he gave me a big hug. I immediately felt a lot better, and it got me thinking about why it is that we can actually feel emotional distress in our “hearts”.

Allow me to nerd out for a moment….it turns out, according to an article in The Scientific American, an area of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex is thought to increase activity in a nerve called, the vagus nerve, which starts in the brainstem and connects to the neck, chest and abdomen. The overstimulation of this nerve upon experiencing emotional pain, causes physical pain and nausea in those areas. All too familiar with the painful lump in the throat, tightening of the chest, and wanting to puke at the thought of a lost child? Your anterior cingulate cortex and vagus nerve are working really well. Interestingly, however, the article also referenced an MRI study which found that simple acts of social kindness, such as holding hands, can blunt the brain’s response to threats of physical pain and actually lessens the experience of pain.

Usually, I feel insanely lucky that Calum received a treatable, curable cancer diagnosis, and other times, I let my anxiety go on the loose, imagining what the hell I would do if anything so serious ever happened to one of my children again. I wonder if I could bare it, or if I’d be able to be strong again if I had to. In the same breath, I work really hard trying to stay in the moment – I don’t mean “enjoying every minute”, I just mean not getting way too far ahead of myself. Life sometimes feels like a constant push and pull between being insanely grateful and scared shitless. The one thing I do know, however, is that when we are scared shitless, and our hearts are hurting, a good hug from someone you love should help out quite a bit. It’s science.

— Caitlin

• THE PLAYLIST: OK you dirty dogs, I asked for your sexiest songs and you DELIVERED. I added a couple of my own favorites, and was both entertained and shocked at some of the choices. Janet Jackson's "Anytime" got a lot of love (had never heard it before), as did Marvin Gaye (not shocked at all) and the hands-down number one requested song is first on today's playlist...enjoy!

• INTIMACY: While we are on the topic of sexy playlists, I came across this article on keeping the spark alive after kids. It's a great, quick read, with some practical advice. Read it and then listen to the playlist. Have a great night.

• SHOP: Occasionally I get a lot of questions about something I’m wearing. Loads of inquiries about these this week.