Soul Snacks (1)

3 minute read

Dear Snackers,

There is a trend on social media I’ve seen where people post something that says “social media is fake, here are some things that are real” and they go on to share some something about their lives, usually stuff that is less flattering than what is typically portrayed on social media. I’ve never participated in the trend, as I tend to avoid all social media trends, but I appreciate the nature of sharing the real. I figured this week I would share a few things that are “real” for me right now. Drumroll: 

1. I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts lately. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I have. It’s been a few things, I guess. I’ve been getting a lot busier with work related stuff, and I don’t really have a support system in place to accommodate the chaos of working full time while also being a full time primary caretaker to three kids, my two-afternoon-a-week babysitter doesn’t really cut it, and yet, I don’t want to take more time away from my kids. Speaking of work, something is going on with my engagement or the algorithm because my metrics on IG have been a little out of whack lately, and as much as I hate to admit I care, I sometimes take it pretty personally when my content doesn’t perform well. I’ve also had to take a major break from exercise while nursing a stubborn case of IT band syndrome, which is hard for me since exercise is sort of my go-to mental health outlet and, oh, and let’s not forget about peri-fucking-menopause, which is absolutely fucking with my mood. In any case, it’s not just any one thing, it’s sort of the sum of these parts combined. I’ll be OK.

2. This past week my daughter mentioned to me that she has also been feeling down lately. She’s gone through phases like this before and whenever she tells me she’s not feeling right, it worries me quite a bit - not so much for the “now” but for when her life and feelings inevitably become a lot more complicated. She is very good at expressing her feelings to me, though, and I am usually able to help her snap out of a funk fairly quickly. We had a good chat about third grade drama and the ways in which her sensitivity is also her super power, and I kept her home with me for a mental health day. I could see in her eyes how much she needed it, so we stayed home together, watched a few episodes of the Gilmore Girls, and ate soup and cookies. I am so happy I can be there to help cheer her up and that she feels close enough to me to share her feelings.

3. My husband and I snuck in a date night this week for the first time in what felt like forever. I had an event in the city to attend, so he met me after work, and we popped into a couple of cool new places in the city. It felt a little more special than going to one of our usual local spots, and I loved that. Our lives are so busy right now, so finding time to really connect can be hard - even at home, our kids are up our asses in the evenings, which is actually kind awesome to watch our family dynamic shift into a group hang, but it leaves so few minutes for “us”. While at dinner, we talked about the reasons why we love each other. The number one thing for each of us was respect. We also thanked each other for being supportive of the other’s work, and it feels so nice to be mutually valued. I am grateful we can compartmentalize the way we often have to divide and conquer life right now, and are secure enough to withstand some distance, but also very much adore getting to spend time with him romantically. I hope it never changes, and will always make an effort to ensure that. 

That’s kind of it for me, I guess. Even though life can be patchy, I truly always feel better when sharing the “real”. In the words of pop artist P!nk, “Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways.” Wishing a happy and healthy long weekend to you and your families. 

Caitlin