🌭 Soul Snacks

3 min read

Dear Snackers,

Am I a dinosaur or is clothing for girls out of control these days?

When I was growing up, particularly through my tween and early teen years, I was insanely self-conscious about my body. I owned zero items of revealing clothing and, until I was about a sophomore in high school, my bathing suits were all one-piece speedos. I was a confident kid – happy to step into a public speaking role at school and things of that nature, but was terrified of revealing clothing. I dressed as a “prep” as they called it, which consisted of a very different preppy look by today’s standards. There was nothing loud or colorful about my wardrobe - a crisp button down or cable knit sweater, paired with pleated khakis was where I wanted to live. My vibe was somewhere between professor and softball coach, and I thought it was the bees knees. Looking back, I realize there was an element of shame in putting my sexuality on display – I don’t know if it was my catholic upbringing or the stigma that went along with girls who dressed slutty, but I wanted to be nowhere near it. 

I know that scantily clad clothing for girls has always been available, but these days it feels like it is the ONLY thing available, particularly when it comes to what’s “in”. From what I can tell, the young, stylish girls are either wearing a cropped top, booty shorts, or both. Sometimes I see the cropped shirt paired with the oversized pant, or a longer t-shirt with shorts so short that the t-shirt might as well be a dress, and other times it’s just short tops and short shorts at the same time, and to be totally honest, it’s not the clothing that shocks me, it’s the comfort level with which it is worn. Am I just triggered by my own insecurities? I can’t decide HOW to feel about it. 

My daughter is eight years old and is hip to the trends – she knows plenty of tween and teen girls that she idolizes who wear the “in” clothing, and she is waiting with baited breath to be allowed to wear crop tops and booty shorts, but we won’t allow it. Now, I’m not a nun, I will allow her to wear a boxy/cropped shirt, under the condition that her pants or shorts come up high enough so as not to expose her midriff and, come hell or high water, it is nearly impossible to locate a retailer who offers a style that meets my requirements. Every boxy shirt, even for eight year old girls, is too cropped to cover their whole stomach, and all I can think is what the fucking fuck is going on?? I want her to feel good in her clothes. I want her to be excited about her outfits – it’s superficial, yes, but when you feel good about what you’re wearing, you feel good in general, but I can’t bring myself to allow her to skip off to second grade half-dressed. 

When my daughter is at home or playing around the house, she is allowed to wear whatever she wants. To my even greater shock, she will sometimes choose to prance around the house wearing a bralette, which was handed down to her by our neighbors. I’d never buy her a bralette at this age, and I will get to more on that in a moment, but for the sake of my current point, I am FLOORED that she has absolutely zero qualms about walking around the house in front of her father and her brothers in a bralette – a bralette which blatantly indicates the EXACT location that her breasts will SOMEDAY appear. I would have sooner put bamboo shoots under my fingernails than allow my dad and my brother see me in a bralette – of all the people in the entire world, it would be the two of them who I would, not in one million years, want to know that I might have boobs! It is mortifying to have boobs in front of your male family members, doesn’t she know?!

So which is it? Is this my own weird, repressed shit that I am feeling, or are my reactions to girls’ clothing valid? And why did I miss the boat on feeling comfortable with my body in the ways that today’s young girls seem to feel in their clothing? Call me old fashioned, but I am having a hard time getting behind it all. If we don’t want to be objectified, then why do we design and wear clothes that specifically aim to objectify us? Why do they make bikinis for pre-pubescent girls? Why would I buy a bralette for my daughter who has no more to cover in her breast region than her brothers at this age? Why, at the beach for instance, must a little girls’ bathing suits cover their breast region while little boys’ bathing suits don’t, and why on earth does the clothing style of a young woman bear her midriff whilst a young man’s is always covered? Mainstream fashion has clearly chosen to sexualize our daughters nearly from their first year of life, and I find it odd. How are we to expect men to look at us, and indeed our daughters, as equal when our clothing is designed to accentuate our sexuality? Does our sexuality help keep us “on top” so to speak, or does it hinder us? Are we aiming to de-sexualize men through the over-sexualization of young women? Why?! Help!! Tell me your opinion in comments because I don’t have the answer….

— Caitlin

• DRINK: If you’ve had one drink too many this 4th of July, try a Cure Hydration pack. They’ll bring you back to life!!!

• LISTEN: This 4th of July Playlist was not curated by the audience this week, but a 🔥 track list nonetheless.