🍽️ Soul Snacks

2 min read

Dear Snackers,

Aside from this year, every year since my children started elementary school, the month of September kicks my ass so hard that I’m ready to torch my fucking email account all together, so I can’t fill out one more fucking consent form, or health form, or sign up form that needs my flocking electronic signature – what have I actually even signed away? In contrast to the fun plans we’ve loosely put together over the the summer to see friends or family, I watch my calendar overcrowd with highly time-sensitive commitments and extracurriculars, and wonder to myself how in the butt I’m going to make it all happen. Who will watch Lukey while I’m driving the carpool? And when the hell should we eat dinner when my daughter has soccer at 5pm and my son has soccer at 6pm? HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS?! 

Where I live in New York, our kids almost always return to school the day after Labor Day and, although I personally love that “real life” does not resume prior to that date each summer, the harsh reality of starting a brand new school year at the finish of a long weekend, which traditionally marks the culmination of summer and all its unstructured glory, is as close to a heart-stopping case of the Sunday scaries as it gets for me….but not this year. 

In an uncharacteristically less anxious turn of events, I have not allowed myself to reach a level-ten panic in anticipation of all the things that come with the month of September. It is certainly not less stressful than years past - on the contrary, my kids schedules have only become more inundated with commitments, and I have only become busier, both as a caretaker and with work. This year, however, I have begun to absorb a new motto…a motto which has been crucial to the strength of my mental health, and that motto is, “It Will All Get Done.” As an anxious person, until I have figured out exactly how everything is going to play out, and have seen it through to completion, my chest tightens, I get tension headaches, lightheadedness, and sometimes a ringing in my ears. It’s like the lead up to running a race – your adrenaline is pumping and it won’t dissipate until the race is over, except in my case, I feel that way about almost everything I have to get done. It’s not quite so severe as before a race, of course, but it is palpable and makes every task or hectic schedule juggling incredibly unpleasant. At the start of this school year, however, I am recognizing that unnecessary amount of anxiety and releasing it before it turns me into the Hulk, and ruins my whole day. I don’t have any secrets or organizational tips on how to make life feel less chaotic - I am simply allowing myself to let go of the anxiety I tend to attach to unknowns, and am trusting that I will figure it out, just as I always. fucking. have. 

Though I don’t have any super tangible pieces of advice, I will say, I started to cut myself more slack. For instance, when life is hectic, I avoid any dinners that require following a new recipe or include any lengthy preparation – fuck that. I have also accepted that if I forget something, or screw something up schedule wise, it actually does not matter in the grand scheme of life. We are all doing so, so, so much, and if something should happen to fall through the cracks, it’s not lack of effort or care for your family, it’s simply the odds of having so many balls to juggle at once (that’s what she said). In closing, fuck both the mayhem of back to school that makes us all feel like we are failing and, especially, fuck dinner. 

Caitlin 

• EAT: Here is a month's worth of realistic and easy dinner ideas, about half of which I would actually make. Sometimes I even just like to look at the pictures to get ideas for my family....

• LISTEN: I shared this playlist not too long ago, but it is SO good and I just want to make sure everyone who needs it, has it.