🌶️ Soul Snacks

5 min read

Dear Snackers,

Holy spice balls, I asked you guys to share your confessions this week, and did you EVER. When I began reading through your secrets, eyes glued to the screen, my main takeaway was that, even though some of this stuff was pretty salacious, there is some part of me that either completely understands, or at least remotely related to every secret. In the interest of time, this will be a two-part Soul Snacks, five this week and five next week…of the top ten secrets that caught my attention, here are my replies to the first five:

1. “I’ve been eating a lot of shrimp lately…and I’m a rabbi.” 

Dear Rabbi,

I think we can all agree that your confession is a far cry from the sins of some other religious figure heads and, when it comes to sins, I do believe there is a scale. First of all, as a gentile, can I just say, shrimp is fucking delicious. It beautifully takes on flavors of seasonings and spices, it is full of protein, and it is low calorie. I, like Bubba from Forest Gump, could rattle off about a hundred ways I would like to eat shrimp. I greatly respect the religious beliefs of others, but in the case of food restrictions, I have a hard time making a connection back to what’s truly important about God. I hope you can forgive yourself. If it helps, I forgive you. Keep on keeping on with what’s important, and enjoy those delectable little bottom dwellers!

2. “Wegovy.”, “I’m using that Wegovy for weight loss.”, “Ozempic.”

Dear Wegovy,

I get it. The pressure around bodies, especially women’s bodies, to look a certain way is enormous and, despite narratives around body positivity, societal judgement around body size does not seem to have budged. I’m sure you’ve tried losing weight “the hard way”. I’d be potentially concerned about health effects and long-term use of weight loss drugs, but on the flip side, I’d also be concerned about health effects of being at an unhealthy weight, never mind the toll to your mental health of being consumed by food. Unless you have not consulted a doctor, and unless you are putting unnecessary financial strain on your family by using these drugs, fuckin’ go for it. Feel your best. Maybe tell your spouse….

3. “Sometimes I’d rather be at work than with my family.”

Dear Normal Human,

Given that a large percentage of men have been hiding from their families behind the guise of work or golf or hunting or whatever the fuck it is for as long as I can remember, I don’t see why women should be made to feel badly about not wanting to spend every free moment with their family. One of the things I have disliked most about becoming a mom is the assumption that it all comes easily and naturally to us. NO. It is hard ass work. When you are at home with young children there is very little predictability, and no down time, and it baffles me as to why society has decided women are equipped to enjoy that more than men. I’ve always felt a sense of reward in the hard work of taking care of my kids, but reward, though important, is very different from enjoyment. Work in the paid sense, in my experience, is about one million times easier than dealing with home life. Ditch the guilt around this incredibly reasonable sentiment.

4. “Still have sexy dreams about my ex from 20 years ago.”

Dear Dreamer,

Ok, let’s be honest here…the reason why you feel the need to confess this is because the sex in the dreams is GOOD…and maybe…better than the real life sex you’re having? Which is FINE! Because truly, after the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship is anyone having the kind of sex that happens in our fantastical dreams? Probably not...if you are, we all want to know YOUR secrets. Sure, sex can evolve and deepen in meaning and feeling over time, and you can do new things to spice it up, but in reality, my bet is that if your dream came to life, it would disappoint and would never stand the test of time. Further to that point, it is a fucking dream so you are entirely innocent….my advice is DREAM ON, sister…enjoy it, live it up….do not let your dreamy pleasure make you feel badly….and maybe take that energy out on your husband, he’ll love it. 

5. “I wonder if I’d be happier with a lesbian partner. I think a woman would get me better, be calmer.”

Dear A Little Confused,

Okurrr, so….is this an ease of life thing or a not liking the peen thing? I can understand the ease of life thing, and maybe thinking that a woman would relate more closely to your struggles - I absolutely feel more seen by my girlfriends at times - but I will tell you from the lesbian couples I know in real life and hear from online, they are dealing with the exact same shit as their hetero friends because...relationships are really hard in general. I think navigating your romantic relationship amongst the chaos of life with young kids is an incredibly common pain point, but if mama wants the V instead of the P, that is another situation. If you’re confused about your sexuality, maybe watch some girl on girl action on a XXX site and see how makes you feel…if that is the way you sway, your challenge is going to be more about whether or not to break up your family, but either way, I would anticipate struggles in a relationship, man or woman. 

I want to give a huge thank you to those of you who boldly shared your secrets this week – it is REALLY hard to do that, even with strangers. Next week I will be back with the remaining five confessions that were both spicy and echoed the confessions of others. You guys are the fucking best. Solidarity. 

Caitlin 

P.S.  This week’s playlist I’ve shared once before, but if you are an elder millennial/Gen X’er, prepare for a time traveling experience to a middle school dance.