🍗 Soul Snacks

5 min read

Dear Snackers, 

This week’s topic is something that seems quite trite on the surface, but comes down to a deeper message: the blue check mark on Instagram. If you’re on the gram often you will have noticed the accounts of celebrities and notable figures that have a little blue check mark next to their name. Actually, pretty much anyone with a business account can have a blue check mark now, as Meta has allowed people to pay for a “verified badge”. The “fake” blue check mark, if you will, is helpful for a lot of people in growing their businesses, but the verified badge that you do not have to pay for, is only bestowed upon special accounts by the powers that be at Instagram who, through an application process, determine you to be notable enough to deserve that teeny weeny blue check mark. I think I once applied for verification from IG a few years ago, probably when I had about 100K followers thinking, who knows, maybe they will give it to me. I didn’t get it and, since then, I have pretty much put it out of my mind entirely. 

I have never wanted to pay for the little blue check mark and, unless it becomes necessary for some reason, I never will. No shade to anyone who paid for the blue check mark, it is just not something that makes a difference for my “business”. The REAL blue check mark, however, is one that I am slightly interested in garnering. To be honest, I hate to admit that. Part of me is proud to be the creator of a big account that is not verified – I sort of enjoy being nonconforming in general and a little “damn the man”, if you will. This past week, however, after having been recently featured in articles from the NY Post and Good Morning America, I thought perhaps I might have organically gained the notoriety it takes to become verified by Instagram, and so I applied. A few days later I received a notification letting me know my account did not qualify, and that I could apply again in 30 days. I felt rejected, and then I felt angry with myself for allowing that little blue check mark to have any effect whatsoever on my self-worth and, indeed, the meaning behind what I do. 

Here’s what: I’m grateful I was rejected. Not because I don’t want to keep doing cool things creatively that may gain me more notoriety somewhere down the line, but because it gave me a moment to examine where I am at – a nice little check-in with my core values. I am a grown woman. I am a happily married mother of three. I have plenty of flaws, but I have a fairly strong head on my shoulders and everything in life that actually matters is right in place. The last thing on earth that I need for any sort of validation is a blue check mark. 

It got me thinking about this time of year in general. Though the holiday season is meant to be about love, family and all the important things in life, it is this time of year that often has many of us feeling “less than”. Comparing what is under the tree in our homes to that of others, contemplating if not sending out a holiday card means that your family is not as “together” as other families, the constant stress of thinking we have forgotten something “important”, etc. It is this season, ironically, where the validation of a “good holiday” is something of a blue check mark. Here’s what I say: fuck that check mark. If all the right things are in place in your life any sort of superficial external validation is not worth the fucking paper it’s printed on. Don’t forget: you, your family and your values go far deeper than anything material or superficial. Nothing that anyone else has or does is a measurement of your worth. Stick to what matters and, as always, fuck that fucking elf on the shelf. 

Caitlin